The one with the dating posts.

I've decided to compile a blog post with all of my past blogs that are about dating experiences, good or bad. Some are emo, some are silly. Some are personal, others aren't as personal.  

friendly PSA for guys that are online dating, March 2011 - Since I've decided to re-embark (is that a word?) in online dating, I've notice so many things wrong with guys' profiles... Yikes.

options for single girls these days, october 2010 - I briefly talk about some experiences I've had that prove to me that the more you date, the more open-minded you have to be.

secret single behavior, september 2010 - This is one of my favorite posts. We all have SSB's, I highlight my personal favorites of my own.

my stupid mouth, september 2010 - I think with dating, you ALWAYS learn something about yourself. I learned, and continue to learn, that my mouth usually gets me in trouble.

the open letter to Corey, september 2010 - Corey is one that *still* tugs at my heart strings... (he's officially out of my life)... but I opened my heart and wrote a letter I know he'd never read or see. PS: why would I even want to be with someone that does these things?

learning through others, september 2010 - One of my good friends was actively dating and I got to hear a lot about her experiences. I highlight a specific situation.

apparently I'm not long term relationship material, september 2010 - haha, I have to laugh at myself. I was bummed out that all of these dates continued to just end after that, a couple dates. I like the photos I found.

don't let me go, august 2010 - Ouch. Other CH post. What a mess. (Kind of emo post)

once a cheater, always a cheater? august 2010 - Should you be honest about your past? Do you want a potential significant other to tell you the truth, even if it's brutal?

"since you're over me now, can we be friends?" august 2010 - Can you be friends with an ex? (note, emo mentions of CH again. Ugh!)

note to self, july 2010 - Ah yes. He's just NOT that into you.

das boot, june 2010 - the one where I explain the "cycle of Corey". *sigh* See - I understood it. I just didn't ACT on it.

the trouble with dating... june 2010 - I have no patience and I hate waiting for things. This is why I have trouble dating. (author's note, I have changed this habit immensely. I have pushed dating to the back burner, therefore I don't sit and wonder what is going on. I figure if someone actually wants to go out, they'll do it. Progress, Leah!)

success! june 2010 - recap of a date. (note: although nothing romantically happened with this guy, we are still friends and grab drinks now and then. Nice guy, that R2P.)

Enjoy!

L

Uffda.

Almost 3 weeks without a post, yeesh. So much in my head and so much going on in my life I just sort of forgot. I said what needed to be said to that jerk face and I'm over it. My heart is protected & I refuse to let someone in just to hurt me again.

Enough of that.


I've been a beast about the gym and I'm proud. I'm in a new relationship with myself. I've been *enjoying* the treadmill and walking and running. I love getting ready and going and feeling great after a work out. I don't want to see this, like I do now...

So, that is good. I guess that's really all.. I should probably work. It's pretty busy & I have a ton to do. Mer.

lmz.



the options for single girls these days.

I've been on a rollercoaster, of love [cue that corny song here] the past year or so.

I've been doing the single girl thing: dating, being set up, being dumped or told "we're better off as friends". But the one thing I've come to notice lately is as you get older, you get people with more and more baggage. My BFF and I spend a lot of time talking and discussing our lives as single gals. She can't get over the fact all of the potential people she could date have a kid, or sometimes more than 1! Looking at my track record, I haven't had anyone with kids but I've had:

former felon/crackhead

guy that had cancer

guy living with HIV

**FYI, these are all under the age of 30!

Now, I don't discriminate and I pride myself in not judging people. In fact, all of these people had perfect chances with me, it just didn't go too far for whatever reason.

I have recently decided, or rather, it's just so happened that, I am done dating. However, I keep a profile on the free website PlentyOfFish.com. It's more humorous than anything. Getting messages from "BigDaddyPain4U" or "Minnetonka" [both actual usernames] is quite discouraging... and I don't even read the messages. So when I get a normal username, I will read the message.

This guy messaged me, passed the pre-test [height, username, looks, decent profile] so I wrote back to him. Right away he asked to add me to facebook.

Facebook is for friends. I don't know you.

I told him I don't have a facebook [deleted it on Sunday] and so he gave me his number and told me to text him.

I don't want to text you. You don't know me. You don't get to know my number!

I gave him my email address, said let's exchange a couple emails and see if we think we'd get along then we could meet up for a drink or coffee...

He responds and tells me that he's recovering alcoholic. Again, not going to discriminate. The emails just were not flowing and now I can't decide, do I stop responding or just say, well I don't think we'll get along? Besides, he's only 5'11" and since most men lie about their height I'm betting he's 5' 9.75". Or do I just go head and get coffee to rule him out?

Now, I obviously have my fair share of baggage: I've got the brother(s), the whole still in college but also living a real life thing, the fact I'm not 100% ready for a relationship, my own emotional problems,

So it seems as though, the older we get, the less we get to choose from. It's slim pickins' out here.

We'll see. It's fun, but at the end of the day I'd rather be alone than settle for someone.

Apparently I'm not long-term relationship material

I tried to keep quiet about it over the weekend but when I get really excited about things, I can't hold them in! I ended up having 2 dates with this guy, MT. I had sort of decided I was done dating all together and not making any effort on my online dating. I received a message on Friday and he seemed normal so I asked if he wanted to meet for coffee.

We met for coffee and that turned into going rollerskating with two of his friends! It was a blast! I was so refreshed that a nice, normal guy was around! He dropped me off, gave me a hug and said we'd chat soon. We ended up having a 2nd date on Sunday evening. Again, a great time! More relaxed, dinner, walk and a beer on a patio. We had great conversation and I thought there was a great spark there. We left it that we'd be in touch throughout the week but should go to karaoke on Thursday evening.

I refrained from texting on Monday (didn't want to be annoying. BTW, I hate dating rules) and he ended up texting me! We had a good text convo on Monday night. Tuesday I emailed him. I didn't hear back all day long but I wasn't too concerned since it was after Labor Day, most people are pretty busy. I was CRAZY busy at work that day!

Later in the day I got an e-mail response from him. He said he has spent a lot of time thinking about it and decided he wanted to "expand our friendship". He then proceeded to explain that our distance (30 miles) and the fact I didn't have a car (I'm a city cat!) has led him to this decision. He said he doesn't see a long-term relationship happening with me. He then said he wants me to be his city tour-guide in the future. (You can drive the 20 minutes to STP for me to show you around but you can't drive the 20 minutes to date me?)

It was towards the end of my work day when I got the email. Of course I had gushed to my co-workers about my amazing dates and how I was excited to "not screw this one up". Picture 3 women, hovering over my desk, reading my response, saying "just be friends! He'll fall in love with you!' and my best friend on the phone saying, "Leah! You're the rule! Not the exception! Tough cookies! If he doesn't like me now, he's not going to like you in 6 months!"

I ended up replying that it was fine, thanks for being honest, but if it's OK I'd like to take a couple days and think on it before I decide! Because, here I was, so excited and jazzed up for a nice, normal, TALL, cute, funny, CATHOLIC boy, right?! He texted and said that was fine and he wanted me to know that he thinks I'm really great, awesome, cute, etc. but the whole car thing just makes it seem easier to be friends.

I got to thinking about the whole, "I don't see myself in a long-term relationship" with you. And the last couple of guys I had more than 2 dates with told me the same thing!

Corey: We had our first couple dates in September 2009, got busy and stopped talking, then started again in January. I chose to date Luke (more below) instead after Corey told me he was emotionless & heartless. Corey and I ended up dating from mid-March to mid-August. One night Corey told me that he thinks I'm great, beautiful, smart, funny and amazing BUT... didn't see anything long-term because I am too emotional and I want to make my life in the city (versus he wants the suburbs)

Luke: We dated from late January 2010 through early March 2010. It was good! I was really happy, we were really happy. Out of the blue one night he said he that he was breaking up with me because he couldn't give me what I needed: I needed too much affirmation (he wasn't one to give compliments) and he didn't see anything long-term.

So looking at the track record, I begin to question myself. Apparently I'm not LTR material. But I'm also not short-term relationship material? Or are they saying that because I'm not LTR material, why waste time with a STR?

I suppose I can see where they're coming from. I actually told another guy I spent some time with that I didn't see it going anywhere. Which was 100% true, we didn't really have that much in common and I just didn't get that "spark". I do give MT and Luke props for not dragging it out like Corey did, in the end making the hurt worse. Props to guys that can be real and honest. Thank you those guys that have enough guts to let a girl down gently versus being a complete ass about it. Here it's more of a sting; you get up, dust off, and try again. I fully intend to dust myself off and try again.

this is sort of irrelevant but good, nonetheless.

It's all about the lessons learned. 2010 has been quite the learning year for me. Through all of this I've learned so much about who I am and what I ultimately need in a relationship. For now I'm back to not actively pursuing dating and focusing on all of things I've got going on in my life!

Until next time,

LMZ

Don't let me go.

Maybe I am just being nostalgic or maybe I'm being emo. It's my birthday tomorrow...to me, a birthday, is a birthday. It's a day. I mean, yeah, I'm another year older, whoop de do. I guess it sort of hit me that I haven't had a boyfriend in a whole year. I've dated, and the most recent of that is obviously as we know, Corey. Corey's birthday was in May. I made him dinner and we went for a walk and watched a movie. To me, his birthday was quite meaningful. Actually, to both of us it was meaningful, and he did express to me. Corey and I are speaking terms, I even hung out with him like 2 weeks ago... and I won't even get an acknowledgement of the fact it's my birthday, and it hurts... is that wrong? [I obviously spoke too soon. a) my birthday isn't until tomorrow and b) as I was composing this I got an email from him....

Hope you're doing well and you're looking forward to your birthday tomorrow.

I am not going to sit and overanalyze it. Yup, I am doing well. Yes, I am looking forward to my birthday. That is all on that subject. ] 

I think what may have gotten me is this: I was at dinner with my cousin & his wife, for her birthday. They're older, in their mid-30's. My aunt asked A what her favorite birthday has been and she shared that since her and T started dating, her birthdays have been better since she's had someone to celebrate with. She also said she wouldn't re-live her 20's for anything {so i've heard from a lot my older friends].

It's my first birthday as a single girl! I can already hear it....

all the single ladies

all the single ladies

put your hands up

...cause if you like it then you shoula put a ring on it

lmz

Today.

I am going to lunch at Meritage with Tracy & Demetri to celebrate mine & Demetri's birthday.

Me, Tracy, Jen & Demetri {halloween, 2008}

Me & Demetri, Halloween. Oh fun.

Haha, my 21st birthday, Demetri & me.... I was a little.... belligerant.

I was a mess. A mess!

Ah, 23. How exciting.

lmz

Friday, friends!

Happy Friday, friends!

One of my favorite things is going to bed on Thursday knowing that when I wake up on Friday I am one day closer to the weekend! Minnesota Summer weekends are my favorite, especially when it's beautiful outside. There is so much to do and so many things to take advantage of.

My weekend plans consist of : laying low tonight and reading my new book (Fly Away Home by Jennifer Weiner); Minnesota State Fair tomorrow; Local Union 455 picnic on Sunday and dinner for my cousin's wife's birthday at It's Greek To Me in the beautiful Minneapolis. Busy weekend!

I thought this could be fun and I came across it at Krysten's Blog.

{I couldn't resist: a shirtless man, and a cat. c'mon!}

1. The most adventurous thing I've done is: I do a lot of adventurous things but I suppose most recently my friend Laura & I drove to IL to see John Mayer & on Sunday we spent the day downtown Chicago. I drove us into town, found us parking and got us out. It was kind of cool for a city girl!

2. If I were a pair of shoes I would be: I want to say a rockin' pair of heels however, heels are notorious for killing feet and, well, I'm not a murderer. I'd say flip flops! Comfy, never get old and usually cute.

3. My preferred mode of digital communication is: Texting, I like to text. I also enjoy an old fashioned phone conversation. Sometimes texts can become miscontrued and that's what the words hit the fan!

4. I feel happiest when: When I am content, when things are going my way and when I know what to expect.

5. A little dream I have for my life is: to do something out of the ordinary that no one would except, like become a cop or join the military.

6. The one modern convenience I could NOT do with out is: only one? my gosh... I'd say... Google. + access to Google from my blackberry. I use it daily.

7. Music, movies, TV or Books - if I could only choose one to enjoy I would pick: toss up between music and books. I'd say music, an iPod full of great music is a simple pleasure in life.

until next time,

lmz

This weekend...

My friend from work, Laura, and I are taking a road trip to Tinley Park, Illinois! We're so excited. Why TP, you ask?

This guy:

I am super into his new sleeve tat....

But a little less impressed with his belly...

Then again, he does have better things to do than GTL (gym, tan, laundry - obvi)

And... if he happens to propsose to me. I will say yes!

I'm a city girl, and if you don't like it, get bent.

Alright that's kind of harsh but while suggesting dates to CH and throwing out going to Como Zoo and having a picnic, this is the response I get:

I'm fine hanging out in the city, I just mean that you're a city person. It is just clear. I don't know how to put it. You know how you can tell that some people just belong in one area? Like how you can take the boy out of the country but you can't take the country out of the boy? Well, you're just a city person.

Don't you just love how he says those things?

Well you know what, I am a city person. And I love the city. I think really I am a Saint Paul person. Saint Paul is beautiful, lakes, rivers... old buildings, beautiful parks, trails, paths, restaurants and bars. It's beautiful. There are so many different neighborhoods and each neighborhood has it's own feel and community. For example, I live in the Grand Avenue area which is full of young adults and young couples. After I get married I'd either stay in my area or head over the Cathedral Hill until I buy my house in Highland Park or Mac/Groveland, where I'd raise my children with my city-loving husband.

This is not say I don't enjoy going away to the cabin. I'd say I'm just not a 'suburb' girl. I don't want to live in a cookie cutter neighborhood exactly 15 miles outside of downtown.

I <3 you, Saint Paul.

{to do}

**this is from my secret blog with my girlies, lyss, megs and carrie, but I wanted to share on here!**
I've decided to start a little list, a bucket list, if you will.
Some are long term, others are short term.
& I'll keep adding

See The Lion King on Broadway.

Go to New York (never been)

Spend a lot of time watching Shark Week 2010.

eat more chocolate cake.

eat less meat.

spend more time in the sun [with sunscreen]

Fall crazy in {forever} love with a sweet man.

**But don't just fall in love to fall in love. Real love**

Wear hot pink shoes to my wedding. Or maybe have hot pink fingernails.

Spend less time worrying.

Dance.

Go to Chicago!

Continue with no pop or coffee (it's been HELL, btw)

Smile. ---> Every. Single. Day.

Go to Marketfest a few times Summer 2010.

Be the best friend I can be to my g.i.r.l.s.

go to California.

Have a wonderful birthday, pedicures and cake included.

Continue to re-mix songs with Ella.

Rollerblade.

Don't settle.

Save more money.

Buy more shoes.

Go to the cabin.

Pray.

Finish out my class STRONG.

Meaning: knock out this final paper and those 18 journals in the next 17 days.

Earn a good great grade in said class.

Prepare for two {2} classes this fall... math & promotional communications.

Be a sister, not a *mom* to my brothers.

be a mom to my cat(s)

Success!

I talked about my date with R2P in my last post and just an update: It was successful! We had a couple drinks and chatted for a bit. He's nice guy and we have a lot in common. And he told me he'd like to go out with me again. We exchanged a couple text messages over the weekend and he says he'll be taking me out again - he's out of town for work and then out of town this weekend! So that is exciting. Anddd as much as I want to scream because I am so excited, I am just going to be *normal* which is.. rare for me!

So here goes nothing... going to just relax, focus on my hectic life and be excited for another date!

PS: Day #4 for me of vegetarian diet. So far so good. I did cave and have a few bites of some calico beans my co-worker brought today but I requested her to bring them! But that is fine! Also - no soda since last week! Woop!

The trouble with dating is...

plans! Or lack thereof. I am a "plans" kind of girl. I like to have a schedule and know what I am doing. So this whole "let's schedule a date" business throws me off. I want to know when! Throw me a bone! **New prospect, let's call him... R2P. Ok that's kind of a weird name but since I don't know him all that well I don't have a good undercover name for him! Let's just say, he's cute and funny and pretty nice so far. I decided to be bold and tell him when I am available for our date (after he told me he'd email me to set something up Wednesday and I never got an email)! So upon consult with my BFF, we concluded I could email him*** and just explain that I like plans! Well, I didn't scare him away with my approaching him! Bottom line is I've scored a tentative date for tomorrow night! [I say tentative because I always get let down so I've decided not to trust that it will occur until it actually is happening]

***now I realize the great single gal would just ho hum and bum around til he emailed for a date *but* I:
a) do not have patience (ya ya ya it's a damn virtue, I know this.)
b) am not too great at the dating game
c) think that we had a great connection when we ran into each other at the lake earlier this week! 

So I decided to be bold and just do it! And he even said he gives me points for that. Woo.

there are many other troubles with dating that they each deserve their own post!

With some good red wine

And my brand new shoes

Gonna dance a blue streak around my living room

Take a chance on love, and try how it feels

With my heart wide open

Yeah, you know I will

Find what it means to be the girl

Who changed her mind

And changed the world
*settlin', sugarland

pedicures & blogs.

I have a couple blogs I follow, one of them being Blonde Monde, and I found this on an older post of theirs. I thought it was cute and wanted to share.

Everyone can use a friday afternoon giggle.

Weekend plans: homework. sweat pants. homework. dance recital. pedicure [i am thinking hot pink toes, yes?]. homework. church. class.

missing Grand Old Day because of school. bum-mer

Mayyyybe if I didn't wait until.... 2 days before my *10 journals* are due for class, I wouldn't be so stressed about them, eh? Of course not.

oh, my other blog that I <3?

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/all-the-single-ladies/

simply, ah-may-zingggg. & hilarious.

Also: Miss Alyss -  We need you back in blogging world. How about - marriage/life? You know we'll need your marriage and wifely advice.

until next time - lmz