patience is a virtue.

...And it's a virtue I haven't quite mastered. I am working on but I have a problem with instant gratification and wanting things RIGHT away.

C.H. has made his way back into the picture {let's be honest. he never left. it's me. and it's him. did you not see the circle of CH? there's something bringing us back. and don't even get me started on all of the 'karma' things that have occured since I've known him. That's a whole different blog} and all I know is that the past week, specifically the last 2 times I've seen him, have been so great. He's so sweet and he's really making progress. (remember, he likes to take things slow). I went to his house for the first time. Last night he spent a good amount of time with my best friend and me. He met my brother. I think we're moving in a positive (albeit slow) direction.

It's hard for me to just slow. down. and enjoy the time we're spending together. All I want is to know "what's going to happen" "where is this going to go" and I spend my time overthinking the entire thing. And this is not what I want!

So starting right now, I am making a vow to myself to have patience. To be patient and let "this" work it's course. Because I like him. And he's cute. And sweet. And smart. And funny. And the more time I spend with him, the more I like him. And he has said the same thing.

because great things come to those who wait.

"patience is passion tamed" - Lyman Abbott

meow.

he's just *not* that into you.

"Calling when you say you're going to call is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house, baby. And it's cold outside." -He's Just Not That Into You, the book.

It's a simple concept. One that I tend to forget. If he likes you, he's going to call you. I watched HJNTY last night for a little refresher. Just a little ego boost to remind myself, in this world of dating and constant communication, I need to "check out", lay off, and chill out.

It's a tough world out there for a single girl!

"I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting." - Mary, He's Just Not That Into You (the movie)

Oh and another quote specific to Mr. CH (recently received "Das Boot" ) ... The one I kept making excuses for...

"He is a man made up entirely of your excuses. And the minute you stop making excuses for him, he will completely disappear from your life."

So far, so true.

what a doll

Last night I got to see my sweet little friend Molly! We went Bonfire & Cafe Latte. She's so sweet and I love her! I'll miss her when she goes to San Fran for, like, ever (okay like 18 days). Molly is so sweet and I'm so excited she's moved back to the TC (even though she's in MPLS). We're going to have a blast!

lmz

ps: notice how I'm not on my "good side"?

Das Boot

Ah, as delicious as that boot of beer looks (head here to get this bad boy in real life!), this blog is not about beer in a glass the shape of a boot. It's about giving the boot. I gave "the boot" to a certain someone today... {let's call him CH} Now, I've given CH "the boot"  many times, however, with CH it's a vicious circle. A circle that I take full blame for continuing.. and made into a chart. See exhibit A.

Exhibit A (ok I made a chart but I'm not techie enough to get it on here. It's cute - circles and arrows and all)

1. 
   
   Spend time with CH
2. 
   
   Realize my feelings for CH and become scared because they're not reciprocated or if they are they aren't acted upon.
3. 
   
   Tell CH that since he won't "man up" I can't see him anymore
4. 
   
   CH says something to the effect of, "his loss" or just change the subject. OR he'll do something sweet like come over or say something nice 
5. 
   
   Miss CH so email/call him to tell him that I want to see him again.. then it goes back to the beginning.

 So after yet another weekend of "tentative" plans, I decided that CH needed the boot. I sent an e-mail, it got kind of lengthy, and he (as most men) doesn't respond well to long e-mails so I followed up with a second email. Short and sweet. Unlike him. He's tall. And bitter. Hah! Anyways, second e-mail said something along the lines of, I can't see you anymore. I want a boyfriend and a relationship and that's just not happening here. I'm sure we can still be friends. Don't tell me that it's "your loss", cause we both that it is.

I can't even say how many times we've done this vicious circle since we started dating in March. Probably 5 -6 . How draining. So full of drama, and so unnecessary. Don't get me wrong, CH is actually really great. We get along really well  - from our first date in October, we hit it off. A lot in common (except he loves the suburbs, ick... I'm a city girl!) I'm actually really into him (less the drama) and we do have a great connection. But all of the good things unfortunately don't outweigh the bad. Part of the reason it's so hard to stick with dropping him is just that there's something that continues to draw me back,  He tells me things like "I like you soo much", "you're soo great", "I respect all you do for your family and your brothers" and then says things like "I won't date you cause you say what's on your mind and it makes me nervous", "I won't let us hang out at my house cause I think you'll never leave", "I wish it were 2 years down the road and you were a little older, a little more mature and a little more advanced in your career". So, given all of these things, I decided it was time.

And I'm interpreting his silence as tacit compliance. :)

 

until next time:

lmz

I don't know where it is, but something's gotta give.

Something's gotta give me butterflies

Something's gotta make me feel alive

Something's gotta give me dreams at night

Something's gotta make me feel alright

I don't know where it is

But something's gotta give

-Lee Ann Rimes


Happy Friday! I never thought it would arrive, but... it's here. Busy weekend ahead...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tgf7MpQ0c4

{to do}

**this is from my secret blog with my girlies, lyss, megs and carrie, but I wanted to share on here!**
I've decided to start a little list, a bucket list, if you will.
Some are long term, others are short term.
& I'll keep adding

See The Lion King on Broadway.

Go to New York (never been)

Spend a lot of time watching Shark Week 2010.

eat more chocolate cake.

eat less meat.

spend more time in the sun [with sunscreen]

Fall crazy in {forever} love with a sweet man.

**But don't just fall in love to fall in love. Real love**

Wear hot pink shoes to my wedding. Or maybe have hot pink fingernails.

Spend less time worrying.

Dance.

Go to Chicago!

Continue with no pop or coffee (it's been HELL, btw)

Smile. ---> Every. Single. Day.

Go to Marketfest a few times Summer 2010.

Be the best friend I can be to my g.i.r.l.s.

go to California.

Have a wonderful birthday, pedicures and cake included.

Continue to re-mix songs with Ella.

Rollerblade.

Don't settle.

Save more money.

Buy more shoes.

Go to the cabin.

Pray.

Finish out my class STRONG.

Meaning: knock out this final paper and those 18 journals in the next 17 days.

Earn a good great grade in said class.

Prepare for two {2} classes this fall... math & promotional communications.

Be a sister, not a *mom* to my brothers.

be a mom to my cat(s)

Success!

I talked about my date with R2P in my last post and just an update: It was successful! We had a couple drinks and chatted for a bit. He's nice guy and we have a lot in common. And he told me he'd like to go out with me again. We exchanged a couple text messages over the weekend and he says he'll be taking me out again - he's out of town for work and then out of town this weekend! So that is exciting. Anddd as much as I want to scream because I am so excited, I am just going to be *normal* which is.. rare for me!

So here goes nothing... going to just relax, focus on my hectic life and be excited for another date!

PS: Day #4 for me of vegetarian diet. So far so good. I did cave and have a few bites of some calico beans my co-worker brought today but I requested her to bring them! But that is fine! Also - no soda since last week! Woop!

The trouble with dating is...

plans! Or lack thereof. I am a "plans" kind of girl. I like to have a schedule and know what I am doing. So this whole "let's schedule a date" business throws me off. I want to know when! Throw me a bone! **New prospect, let's call him... R2P. Ok that's kind of a weird name but since I don't know him all that well I don't have a good undercover name for him! Let's just say, he's cute and funny and pretty nice so far. I decided to be bold and tell him when I am available for our date (after he told me he'd email me to set something up Wednesday and I never got an email)! So upon consult with my BFF, we concluded I could email him*** and just explain that I like plans! Well, I didn't scare him away with my approaching him! Bottom line is I've scored a tentative date for tomorrow night! [I say tentative because I always get let down so I've decided not to trust that it will occur until it actually is happening]

***now I realize the great single gal would just ho hum and bum around til he emailed for a date *but* I:
a) do not have patience (ya ya ya it's a damn virtue, I know this.)
b) am not too great at the dating game
c) think that we had a great connection when we ran into each other at the lake earlier this week! 

So I decided to be bold and just do it! And he even said he gives me points for that. Woo.

there are many other troubles with dating that they each deserve their own post!

With some good red wine

And my brand new shoes

Gonna dance a blue streak around my living room

Take a chance on love, and try how it feels

With my heart wide open

Yeah, you know I will

Find what it means to be the girl

Who changed her mind

And changed the world
*settlin', sugarland

a girl can always relate to Britney lyrics.

Confidence is a must

Cockiness is a plus

Edginess is a rush

Edges, I like 'em rough

A man with a Midas touch

Intoxicate me, I'm a lush

Stop you're making me blush

People are looking at us

*britney spears, radar

love like crazy*

Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I Love You

Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common since

Never let your prayin' knees get lazy

And love like crazy

Always treat your woman like a lady

Never get to old to call her baby

Never let your prayin knees get lazy

And love like crazy

there's something about country music that i love. it's simple, and it speaks the truth. this song is one of my favorites by Lee Brice, called Love Like Crazy [check it out here]. i believe that everything in life should be done to it's fullest. go big or go home! this is probably why i fall so hard and have such a hard time picking myself up again. but i always learn my lesson and i do pick myself up and get going again.

~leah

pedicures & blogs.

I have a couple blogs I follow, one of them being Blonde Monde, and I found this on an older post of theirs. I thought it was cute and wanted to share.

Everyone can use a friday afternoon giggle.

Weekend plans: homework. sweat pants. homework. dance recital. pedicure [i am thinking hot pink toes, yes?]. homework. church. class.

missing Grand Old Day because of school. bum-mer

Mayyyybe if I didn't wait until.... 2 days before my *10 journals* are due for class, I wouldn't be so stressed about them, eh? Of course not.

oh, my other blog that I <3?

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/all-the-single-ladies/

simply, ah-may-zingggg. & hilarious.

Also: Miss Alyss -  We need you back in blogging world. How about - marriage/life? You know we'll need your marriage and wifely advice.

until next time - lmz