But, at the age of 21, I am not sure that I even know why I am doing that? I made a decision to go to church today, and to make a commitment to myself to attend mass more frequently. I miss mass. It is beautiful. I love it. I love the time to reflect. I feel like there are so many things I just don't KNOW in this world. Why do we wear ashes on Ash Wednesday? Why did the Nazi's kill the Jews? I never learned this stuff. I am happy to say I know exactly why we 'give something up' for Lent. Not because it's 'cool' or 'fun' but because Jesus [another thing I don't "know": why sometimes is he God and other times Jesus? I thought Jesus was the son of God? But they're the same? So I know that JESUS gave up his life for us, he sat at the right hand of the FATHER who I presume is GOD. Oh man!] gave up his life for us. So we can give up something for a measley 40 days.
This year for lent, I am not giving up something tangible. I am giving up neediness. Neediness. I actually was going to give up pop, but that is so cliche and thought I'd try to quit smoking...then I saw an article on Oprah.com about giving up neediness for lent. I liked that idea. I am very needy. I have an addictive personality and I get hooked way too quick on people/things. So, for the next 40 days, I am going to make an effort to enjoy ME--to not care about having a date on Friday night with a [very nice, sweet & cute] boy. I am excited and anxious. I am ready to take each day and OWN it. For each day to be MINE. I know that I can do it. I can break my bad habit of being needy and co-dependent.