Learning through others

Not only do I like to blog and write about my own dating experiences, but I like writing about other people's as well. Today, as this situation was happening in real-life, I was thinking to myself and recollecting on my own past experiences.

One of the reason I love having such a great group of girlfriends is being able to listen to them and converse with them about their own relationships. As women, we tend to spend time over analyzing a lot of different things regarding relationships. I learn different things from everyone in my life, and I always try to relate that back my own life. Within the past few months, one of my best girlfriends has been quite the busy dating girl. She, at one point, literally had a date every night. Sometimes two in one day. This is what us girls do when we're online dating, and people set us up, and we met cute boys. We go out for coffee to see how we connect.

She had narrowed it down to two guys: R2 & JD. Being very close with her, she has very willingly shared her feelings about each guy. She had been dating R2 for quite bit longer than JD. JD came along and it hit her, like WHAM. You know that feeling? That, WOW you are smoking hot, but also happen to be amazing from what I can tell from the first few dates kind of feeling? My friend had been leaning more towards JD for whatever reason. From what she had told me, she did really like both but when it came down to it, she was more into JD. She made the decision to let R2 know that she just didn't see it going anywhere. Before she had a chance to do this, R2 decided to be ballsy and ask her how she was feeling, he expressed some pretty deep feelings saying he was really into her, he thinks she's amazing and many other nice things.

My friend was thrown off by his email as she wasn't quite expecting that from him. I believe this made her question if she really wanted to let him go. I think her ultimate decision would have been that, bottom line, she didn't feel the 'spark' there like she wanted and although R2 is a really awesome guy, she wasn't going to settle for that just to settle and have a boyfriend. In the midst of her surprise to his e-mail, she got busy, as us girls do. She didn't respond and the next day (24 hours, like clockwork) he sent a follow-up email to which my sweet dear friend called me at work to share with me. She said she felt pressured and that definitely solidified the fact she was going to let him know it wasn't in their best interest to continue dating.

sometimes I just want to squeeze my girlies!

What I see here is that R2 definitely took on the role of the "woman" in the dating game. Many times I've done the "where is this going to go" and never hear anything and follow-up with the person. I can see where I have probably scared a few away by my intensity. Being able to come from the outside-in, I can see my friend's POV and I can know that it's not that she didn't like R2, it's genuinely that she was surprised by his e-mail and probably wanted to spend more time thinking about it. In this situation though, R2 & J have been dating for a few months - I haven't quite made it that far with anyone other than Corey, and we all know how that ended. I love being able to learn through my friends. I love being able to see things they do and put that in my mental box to save for later, or, sometimes, not save! So here's to my friends, they keep me in touch with the dating world, bring me back to reality and I love them! I have the best friends a girl could ask for.

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