follow-up: after thoughts of dead fish guy & real date #1 with lunch guy from saturday is tonight.

Dead fish guy inspired this post. I liked his profile when I read it, minus the obscene amount of photos of him with dead fish. But, I overlooked that. We met up at an Irish bar just on the edge of downtown Saint Paul.

Let me step back and give a little background of DFG. He is from a town about 30 miles outside of the city. He works in construction. He's a total "guy's guy", from what I could tell. Definitely could fall under the "hick" category.

Now, I am more of the city-girl type, and I have no shame in this. BUT I really liked his profile and I sent HIM a message. After exchanging a few emails we decided to get together. I was going to squeeze him in last weekend, but I didn't. So, fast forward and we grabbed dinner on Tuesday night. This turned into drinks after dinner at a neighboring bar. It was a blast, we had a great time, and great conversation and we really connected. He drove me home and dropped me off. There was no awkward kissing moment, thankfully. Surpringsly, I would say this was the best of the 3 I've been on in the past 5 days!

But now it's 5pm the next day I haven't heard from him. So now I am kind of overthinking it - was I too sassy? I was pretty dressy for a Tuesday in a dress, tights and heels but I came right from work! He, on the other hand, was wearing carpenter jeans & work boots.

I asked my good friend Ben and he said that contacting someone after a date in under 24 hours seems desperate and over 48 hours, he is not interested. SO, the two day rule? I think it's dumb, but whatevs.

Tonight I am going to the Science Museum of MN for their first Social Science event. It's a 21+ event featuring alcoholic beverages and appetizers along with things like human pictionary and photo booth. Fun?

I'm nervous, he is a very nice and sweet guy and we had good conversation. He also likes good beer (i.e. not Bud Light) but kind is of awkward. On a side note, I think he has a tick. He kind of scratches his head whenever he gets nervous. And I think he might be a virgin. We had a very awkward hug after lunch. The good news is that he is definitely over 6' so I can wear heels tonight with my jeans. I've let my Twitter friends know to pretend I don't exist as the *last* thing I need is for him to find my Twitter account... and this blog.


Until next time.



Leah

The one with the dating posts.

I've decided to compile a blog post with all of my past blogs that are about dating experiences, good or bad. Some are emo, some are silly. Some are personal, others aren't as personal.  

friendly PSA for guys that are online dating, March 2011 - Since I've decided to re-embark (is that a word?) in online dating, I've notice so many things wrong with guys' profiles... Yikes.

options for single girls these days, october 2010 - I briefly talk about some experiences I've had that prove to me that the more you date, the more open-minded you have to be.

secret single behavior, september 2010 - This is one of my favorite posts. We all have SSB's, I highlight my personal favorites of my own.

my stupid mouth, september 2010 - I think with dating, you ALWAYS learn something about yourself. I learned, and continue to learn, that my mouth usually gets me in trouble.

the open letter to Corey, september 2010 - Corey is one that *still* tugs at my heart strings... (he's officially out of my life)... but I opened my heart and wrote a letter I know he'd never read or see. PS: why would I even want to be with someone that does these things?

learning through others, september 2010 - One of my good friends was actively dating and I got to hear a lot about her experiences. I highlight a specific situation.

apparently I'm not long term relationship material, september 2010 - haha, I have to laugh at myself. I was bummed out that all of these dates continued to just end after that, a couple dates. I like the photos I found.

don't let me go, august 2010 - Ouch. Other CH post. What a mess. (Kind of emo post)

once a cheater, always a cheater? august 2010 - Should you be honest about your past? Do you want a potential significant other to tell you the truth, even if it's brutal?

"since you're over me now, can we be friends?" august 2010 - Can you be friends with an ex? (note, emo mentions of CH again. Ugh!)

note to self, july 2010 - Ah yes. He's just NOT that into you.

das boot, june 2010 - the one where I explain the "cycle of Corey". *sigh* See - I understood it. I just didn't ACT on it.

the trouble with dating... june 2010 - I have no patience and I hate waiting for things. This is why I have trouble dating. (author's note, I have changed this habit immensely. I have pushed dating to the back burner, therefore I don't sit and wonder what is going on. I figure if someone actually wants to go out, they'll do it. Progress, Leah!)

success! june 2010 - recap of a date. (note: although nothing romantically happened with this guy, we are still friends and grab drinks now and then. Nice guy, that R2P.)

Enjoy!

L

3 dates in one weekend?

Confession: I enjoy dating.

I'm always up for being set up. I have a profile on a couple different online sites. I live my life just like normal but if someone offers to set me up with someone, I'm all in. If anything, I either get a great story out of it or a new friend. It is always fun. I'm very social and I love meeting new people.

That said, as of late I've kicked up my online dating. I've had a few trusted friends read my profile and offer advice. I updated photos, edited my profile and took some initiative to send some messages.

I've got three (3) prospects at the moment and hope to get an initial meeting set up soon.

I don't get nervous until about 30 minutes before we meet. It's at the moment I'm getting ready to leave my apartment that I question what in the HELL I am doing. Going to meet a stranger with hopes they LIKE me, or something? That's when I call or text my best friend and she gives me a confidence boost and pushes me to go.

So, the prospects.

I've exchanged quite a few emails with "the fish guy" (inspiration for the last post). Even with his half-assed grammar and photos with 40 dead fish, I'm still going to meet him. Why? I have nothing to lose. He seems genuine and hard working, he's tall and cute. I have to call him tonight to set something up for Saturday. I'm thinking mid-day coffee. Although, something about the dead fish doesn't scream "coffee guy" to me. Maybe we'll go to Applebee's.

We've got an actor/comedian turned corporate guy. That sounds fun. I'm curious about how someone majors in theater in college then works in the corporate world. He has challenged me  to a hair competition. He said in a message that it seems like I have nice hair (LOL) and he's always been told HE has great hair. It's not long or anything, just normal, short McDreamy-ish hair. I have to say, I do have great hair. Only because of my salon and the amazing products I use. I'm positive I'll win. But I digress.

Finally, we've got the suburban living, Minnesota Twins-loving IT guy. I've only exchanged 2 emails with him but he seems like he has it together. He's got a big boy job and a house, and is right in my ideal age range at 25. I was drawn to his profile because of the MN Twins hat he was wearing. I clearly said that in the message (because I'm taking initiative). *Update: we've exchanged a few more emails I'm not impressed with the grammar... ex: "I haven't been to a Wild game yet neither". Also he gave me his cell number and said to text him. I also won't do this because that sets things up to be weird, and it is a whole other post... "why you shouldn't text someone before you meet them".

I've decided to try to squeeze all three in this weekend because, well, why not. I have nothing to lose.

I've got a busy weekend ahead, because in addition to this, I'm going with a couple friends to the Minnesota Beard Off at the Turf Club in St. Paul.

Until next time!

L

A friendly PSA to guys that are dating online.

It seems like it SHOULD be common sense but lately I've been seeing these things far too often. I feel as though guys need to read and sign a document stating they've read basic tips for creating an online dating profile. 

I've had my fair share of online dating experiences. I feel like it would be quite rude to send someone a message telling them what is wrong with their profile. So, I'll do it here. I speak from experience with every one of these situations. Sad, I know.

Here are my two cents to guys that are online dating. 

1. Iwanturpanties just sent you a message!

Pick a decent user name. That is an example of a real user name of a message sender in my inbox. I'm not even going to open the message. Go with something simple. Your first name, last initial and a number. Stay away from anything dumb like "BigFun4U" (also a real user name I've seen).

2. Take the chick out of your pic

There should not be another girl in your profile picture. I don't care if it's your sister or your cousin, we don't know this. Seeing you with a woman is unattractive and naturally, as women, we'll be curious. It isn't that hard to crop the photo so it's just you. In fact, ask the nice lady in your photo because she'll probably know how to do it. 

I recently saw a photo and the guy didn't even bother with cropping. Instead, the woman's face was literally blacked out with a marker before the photo was scanned (who scans photos anymore?).

Try to limit the animal photos. Unless you moonlight as a black lab, I don't need to see the pic of your dog. Okay, you like to fish and you caught 60 fish, but we don't need 3 photos of you with the fish. A photo of you with a bloody deer? Kind of gross. Save that picture for your guy friends and show us a picture of you without a carcass.

I'm a real catch!

So, what photos can you use?  A face shot where you're smiling would be ideal. Have more than 1 photo. There has to be a good RECENT photo of you out there somewhere.

3. "Your very pretty!"

Make sure that you're using correct grammar.  Know the difference between your and you're. Capitalize words. Tonight I saw a guy that looked like a normal guy but his entire "In Your Own Words" section was lowercase and using slang. In fact, here's an excerpt from someone that showed up as one of my "top matches"... 

"heyo im a real cool guy. i love hanging out and fishing. i have a job and a car and i am a student in business and marketing."

This is not someone that appears as though their first language is not English, so I don't cut slack for that reason. If writing isn't your strength, then maybe online dating isn't for you.

  

I don't think I'm being too picky when I say I want to date a man that can spell and form a sentence. 

4. Steer clear of the obvious

So now that you've got a solid user name, a basic photo and you can use your words in a positive way, what do you write about? As a woman, I want to know a few things from your profile. Keep it short and sweet, but not TOO short. Personally, I think 2-3 paragraphs is good. Women have a longer attention span and focus more on the words than men do, so this advice would be different for women. I don't mind actually reading a profile. First and foremost, don't lie. Just be honest.

 

DO: Tell me what you like about where you live. Especially in the Twin Cities, there are so many unique neighborhoods and it can tell a lot about you. If you're passionate about Uptown, you're probably a hipster. If you spend all your time in Dinkytown, I bet you're in college. Crocus Hill kind of guy? You're clearly classy. 

Talk about what goals you have. Are you an athlete? What are you favorite sports to play? Are you training for a marathon? Mention that. What are you looking for? I don't mean saying you want a hot blonde with blue eyes. I mean, are you looking for a serious relationship or casual dating? I know it may hard to actually think about what you want but if you're online, there's a REASON, right? What do you hope to get out if it?

DON'T: Talk about how busy you are. Everyone is BUSY, this is obvious. If you're looking to date then you don't want to say that your free time is consumed by grad school and 4 rec softball leagues. Chances are, we'll think you don't have time for us.

5. The message

If you've found someone that gets you jazzed up, send her a message. Don't be intimidated. What do you have to lose? Keep the message short and sweet. Comment on something in her profile. Don't send a standard message to every single person but personalize it a little. Ask a couple of questions that will warrant a response.

I hope that my friendly public service announcement helps you or someone you know with their problems with online dating. As a young, single woman that is actively online dating, I'd like more men to know some basics things to do and some things to stay away from when creating their profile. It will make it easier and less painful for all of us.