My first "real" boyfriend, the high school sweetheart, has been married for over a year. We broke up YEARS ago, when I was 19. So that wasn't a big deal.

I was facebook stalking browsing the internet last night and stumbled across this guy I used to date, B. His photo was a wedding picture. I couldn't believe it. Not because I wanted to marry him because frankly, I didn't. He's 10 years older than I am and I was young (21) and it never would have worked. Per my further investigation, they got married in November. She's a beauty.

While I was researching, I thought I'd check in with good old CH. The one that could never commit, the one that inspired so many posts. He's been MIA since our dinner date in October. There's always a reason. In a relationship. The one that couldn't commit. They can commit, just not to you. 

It's just weird I guess. I'm in the mood for angry music and magically losing 75 lbs to be a heartbreaker bombshell.

And is it bad that a little part of me hopes when I have a boyfriend, that a guy I used to date has the same "WTF" moment? It is. I'm awful. And will live forever with my cats.


Barkeep said...

I have "stalked" people occasionally... and the two or three times I have done so I didn't find the exercise cathartic at all.

Even though I made peace with a short-term relationship that left me disappointed for a while after it ended (and for no good reason whatsoever) I found that stalking her online a few years later only drudged up the disappointment again. Perhaps if I had found out she went to prison for DUI I'd have felt better somehow (is that terrible of me?) but at the end of the day I should have just resisted the temptation instead of picking at the scab, so to speak.

Leah said...

the illusive man returns :)

Barkeep said...

Not sure what makes me illusive, but if you say so.