dating sucks, in a funk and other things.

not to say I've been dating, but I did have a couple dates with a boy man and being the smart and internet sleathly girl I am, it didn't take me long to put a few things together and realize mister mister just got out of a relationship (I seriously didn't do any super intense internet stalking, it was very easy).

I would only come to find through conversation that not only was it quite a fresh break up, and he reassured me I wasn't a rebound, but that he was really, really messed up from this chick. Him and I have continued a friendship and  I've been a sounding board for him to vent. I also want to kick this girl's ass. She's the bitch that makes these dudes so fucked up! I could beat her up, if I had the chance and the right shoes on.

Before I found out how crazy she is, and I (shameful admission here) spent my time "researching" her, I had a full-on mini meltdown. She is SO CUTE. She's this cute little hipster girl that rides a bike and doesn't eat animals. She's gorgeous and creative. And I think, WTF is dude doing being interested in ME? Girl is fucking cute as hell and I'm just, blah. And at that moment I realized I wasn't ready to date, let alone be in a relationship. I'm not normally the girl to intensely compare myself to girlfriends prior, especially so early on in something so undefined.

but, I digress. And dating sucks. maybe it's the holidays, and the weather, and those extra 5 15 pounds that have found their way around my mid-section. I have no desire or motiviation and I'd rather just hang out with my friends. This does lead into said "funk". Just not really feeling into doing things.

this month has been madness. absolutely crazy. using the next two weekends to screw my head back on, reconnect and focus on upcoming month. and it's cold. i hate this! i want to move to California. Sunshine and warmth.

1 comment:

Barkeep said...

cold? this is my idea of winter... not too many subzero mornings and not much meaningful snow. we have been fortunate in comparison to last winter.

you have to stop stalking people online...you're gonna drive yourself insane. it's hard to resist the temptation, i know.

the holidays are damn tough on us singles, i don't care how blessed we are to have friends and family that care about us. it's tough. i hope you have a more exciting new year's eve/day than i will.