I'm a lover, not a fighter

I'm sort of like a turtle. On the outside I have a hard shell, but I'm soft on the inside. I may appear to be tough and strong but really I'm vulnerable and weak. I know this about myself, however I still tend to put myself in situations where I am destined to be hurt. I also don't have patience so I don't like ''waiting for things to cool off'', which is probably why when I do 'fight' it's so intense - I can't just take time to myself and relax, I have to go, go, go at that moment.

So when my best friend starts personally attacking me for something that has *nothing* to do with me, I have a hard time not taking it personally. I will not get into specifics but I will just say I feel as though I've been emotionally beaten, for something I had no part of, whatsoever. I explained that I didn't want to get into the middle, that it's between her and my brother, but it kept coming. The worst part of having someone so close to you (i.e. a best friend) is that they know what to do and say to hurt you. However, the bottom line should be that they would not use these things against you.

This is why I need to remember to just never let anyone get close to me, for fear of being hurt. Okay, I know I can't do that. I'm just not sure what to do. I can't not take things personally.

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