The one with the dating posts.

I've decided to compile a blog post with all of my past blogs that are about dating experiences, good or bad. Some are emo, some are silly. Some are personal, others aren't as personal.  

friendly PSA for guys that are online dating, March 2011 - Since I've decided to re-embark (is that a word?) in online dating, I've notice so many things wrong with guys' profiles... Yikes.

options for single girls these days, october 2010 - I briefly talk about some experiences I've had that prove to me that the more you date, the more open-minded you have to be.

secret single behavior, september 2010 - This is one of my favorite posts. We all have SSB's, I highlight my personal favorites of my own.

my stupid mouth, september 2010 - I think with dating, you ALWAYS learn something about yourself. I learned, and continue to learn, that my mouth usually gets me in trouble.

the open letter to Corey, september 2010 - Corey is one that *still* tugs at my heart strings... (he's officially out of my life)... but I opened my heart and wrote a letter I know he'd never read or see. PS: why would I even want to be with someone that does these things?

learning through others, september 2010 - One of my good friends was actively dating and I got to hear a lot about her experiences. I highlight a specific situation.

apparently I'm not long term relationship material, september 2010 - haha, I have to laugh at myself. I was bummed out that all of these dates continued to just end after that, a couple dates. I like the photos I found.

don't let me go, august 2010 - Ouch. Other CH post. What a mess. (Kind of emo post)

once a cheater, always a cheater? august 2010 - Should you be honest about your past? Do you want a potential significant other to tell you the truth, even if it's brutal?

"since you're over me now, can we be friends?" august 2010 - Can you be friends with an ex? (note, emo mentions of CH again. Ugh!)

note to self, july 2010 - Ah yes. He's just NOT that into you.

das boot, june 2010 - the one where I explain the "cycle of Corey". *sigh* See - I understood it. I just didn't ACT on it.

the trouble with dating... june 2010 - I have no patience and I hate waiting for things. This is why I have trouble dating. (author's note, I have changed this habit immensely. I have pushed dating to the back burner, therefore I don't sit and wonder what is going on. I figure if someone actually wants to go out, they'll do it. Progress, Leah!)

success! june 2010 - recap of a date. (note: although nothing romantically happened with this guy, we are still friends and grab drinks now and then. Nice guy, that R2P.)

Enjoy!

L

3 dates in one weekend?

Confession: I enjoy dating.

I'm always up for being set up. I have a profile on a couple different online sites. I live my life just like normal but if someone offers to set me up with someone, I'm all in. If anything, I either get a great story out of it or a new friend. It is always fun. I'm very social and I love meeting new people.

That said, as of late I've kicked up my online dating. I've had a few trusted friends read my profile and offer advice. I updated photos, edited my profile and took some initiative to send some messages.

I've got three (3) prospects at the moment and hope to get an initial meeting set up soon.

I don't get nervous until about 30 minutes before we meet. It's at the moment I'm getting ready to leave my apartment that I question what in the HELL I am doing. Going to meet a stranger with hopes they LIKE me, or something? That's when I call or text my best friend and she gives me a confidence boost and pushes me to go.

So, the prospects.

I've exchanged quite a few emails with "the fish guy" (inspiration for the last post). Even with his half-assed grammar and photos with 40 dead fish, I'm still going to meet him. Why? I have nothing to lose. He seems genuine and hard working, he's tall and cute. I have to call him tonight to set something up for Saturday. I'm thinking mid-day coffee. Although, something about the dead fish doesn't scream "coffee guy" to me. Maybe we'll go to Applebee's.

We've got an actor/comedian turned corporate guy. That sounds fun. I'm curious about how someone majors in theater in college then works in the corporate world. He has challenged me  to a hair competition. He said in a message that it seems like I have nice hair (LOL) and he's always been told HE has great hair. It's not long or anything, just normal, short McDreamy-ish hair. I have to say, I do have great hair. Only because of my salon and the amazing products I use. I'm positive I'll win. But I digress.

Finally, we've got the suburban living, Minnesota Twins-loving IT guy. I've only exchanged 2 emails with him but he seems like he has it together. He's got a big boy job and a house, and is right in my ideal age range at 25. I was drawn to his profile because of the MN Twins hat he was wearing. I clearly said that in the message (because I'm taking initiative). *Update: we've exchanged a few more emails I'm not impressed with the grammar... ex: "I haven't been to a Wild game yet neither". Also he gave me his cell number and said to text him. I also won't do this because that sets things up to be weird, and it is a whole other post... "why you shouldn't text someone before you meet them".

I've decided to try to squeeze all three in this weekend because, well, why not. I have nothing to lose.

I've got a busy weekend ahead, because in addition to this, I'm going with a couple friends to the Minnesota Beard Off at the Turf Club in St. Paul.

Until next time!

L

Secret Single Behavior

After this post, my secret single behavior (SSB) will no longer be so secret!

Secret Single Behavior is behavior in which your significant other is aware of. Generally, you would not want your significant other (SO) becoming aware of SSB for fear of a) judgement b) jealousy c) being dumped.

Now, I've been single for quite some time and have built up my own little hodge podge of SSB's. I don't think I'd share my SSB with my SO until I'm married. That way, they're (legally) stuck. I'd hope that my SO will have his own SSB's that we can do in our respective parts of our home.

So here comes a list of my favorite SSB's, in no particular order {I want to share that I can no longer do a lot of these SSB's, since my 18 year old brother currently lives with me. But oh, I am waiting for the day he moves out} :

Leah's (not so) Secret Single Behaviors

*Stripping down to undies and a tank top, blasting Taylor Swift & doing the dishes

*Same as above, less T. Swift & dishes, plus trashy TV.

*Sleeping for most of the day on the weekend if I don't have homework or major plans

*Reading wedding photographer blogs and looking at all the beautiful photos

*Having a "mental health day" and going to the spa

*Eating an entire sleeve of girl scout cookies

*Talking to and dancing with my cat, Jack

*Shutting my cell phone off and shutting the world out

Do you have any SSB's? What about those in a relationship? If you live with your SO, how do you find time to get in your SSB? 

lmz 



Don't let me go.

Maybe I am just being nostalgic or maybe I'm being emo. It's my birthday tomorrow...to me, a birthday, is a birthday. It's a day. I mean, yeah, I'm another year older, whoop de do. I guess it sort of hit me that I haven't had a boyfriend in a whole year. I've dated, and the most recent of that is obviously as we know, Corey. Corey's birthday was in May. I made him dinner and we went for a walk and watched a movie. To me, his birthday was quite meaningful. Actually, to both of us it was meaningful, and he did express to me. Corey and I are speaking terms, I even hung out with him like 2 weeks ago... and I won't even get an acknowledgement of the fact it's my birthday, and it hurts... is that wrong? [I obviously spoke too soon. a) my birthday isn't until tomorrow and b) as I was composing this I got an email from him....

Hope you're doing well and you're looking forward to your birthday tomorrow.

I am not going to sit and overanalyze it. Yup, I am doing well. Yes, I am looking forward to my birthday. That is all on that subject. ] 

I think what may have gotten me is this: I was at dinner with my cousin & his wife, for her birthday. They're older, in their mid-30's. My aunt asked A what her favorite birthday has been and she shared that since her and T started dating, her birthdays have been better since she's had someone to celebrate with. She also said she wouldn't re-live her 20's for anything {so i've heard from a lot my older friends].

It's my first birthday as a single girl! I can already hear it....

all the single ladies

all the single ladies

put your hands up

...cause if you like it then you shoula put a ring on it

lmz

Today.

I am going to lunch at Meritage with Tracy & Demetri to celebrate mine & Demetri's birthday.

Me, Tracy, Jen & Demetri {halloween, 2008}

Me & Demetri, Halloween. Oh fun.

Haha, my 21st birthday, Demetri & me.... I was a little.... belligerant.

I was a mess. A mess!

Ah, 23. How exciting.

lmz

This weekend...

My friend from work, Laura, and I are taking a road trip to Tinley Park, Illinois! We're so excited. Why TP, you ask?

This guy:

I am super into his new sleeve tat....

But a little less impressed with his belly...

Then again, he does have better things to do than GTL (gym, tan, laundry - obvi)

And... if he happens to propsose to me. I will say yes!

"since you're over me now, can we be friends?"

I've been thinking lately about being friends with exes after the break up. In general, it's frowned upon. It seems like everywhere you go and whatever you do after a break up is consumed with the relationship: the [over] analyzing it, sad break up songs, missing them, wanting them back, getting back together, only to break up again. In general, I'm not friends after a break up. I've had the "it's not you, it's me, but I still want to be your friend" break up. I've had the messy break up that doesn't really end, and I've had the "we just don't have enough in common, but let's still be friends" break up. That's the most recent, actually. With CH. Although I call it a break up, we were never "official" (labels could be a whole other blog). We don't have enough in common to sustain a relationship, but we can create a friendship? We weren't even friends to begin with. So how can we be friends, after jumping into a 'dating' relationship? All of the these things. I think being friends with an ex has pros and cons.

I recently had to tell an ex (D) that I couldn't be in his life right now. This is one big relationship, and way back on my blog most posts are about our relationship. We had a rocky relationship, but it was good overall. He (and his family) has been pivotal in my life. When I told him, he cried. I was quite surprised. I've gone back and forth with him, we had a brief 'should we try this again' during the Fall of 2009. I thought it was all great until he told me he met someone and was going to date her. I was crushed. We didn't speak until they were on the rocks. They've since broken up and he's dating someone else (serial monogamous, much?). He's always the one that's told me you need to be single after a break up, "re discover" yourself and that crap. Everything pretty fine and dandy, he was casually dating her, I was casually dating CH, and we were spending time together. (We actually all hung out one time. That was awkward. This was also the first night CH brought me back to his place.)

Then he told me he's exclusive with the new girl. I was okay with it. I spent the weekend with his family at their cabin (I'm close to the family). That really solidified the fact I couldn't be friends with him. I thought I could, but hearing him be mushy gushy on the phone to her, wondering if he was texting her, all the while he's being affectionate with me? Not fair. He can't have his cake, and eat it too. When I told D that I couldn't spend time with him his automatic accusation was because I wasn't in a relationship. That is only a teeny bit true, but mostly I didn't (and don't) agree with his relationship. He just got out of a pretty intense relationship and it's not even over and he's dating someone else? Not to mention she's super sweet and hasn't been in a relationship. He's (I feel) using her as a pawn in his life for something I'm not quite sure of. They have different views on a couple major issues. It just doesn't seem right to me. So I've decided no, I can't have him around. 


Back to CH. I emailed him to let him know I was doing OK after his "we can't be together, I don't see myself with you, you're too emotional and moody" talk on Thursday [8-12-10, while I'm in excruciating pain the night before a root canal]. When he left I was crying and a bit of a mess (ugh).



Anyhow, he says, well, since you're over me, can we be friends now? I responded and told him, no. I didn't want to be his friend. Why would I be friends with someone that wasn't my friend before our dating experience? And the nail in the coffin? A few weeks ago I had a very stressful afternoon at work. I was even more stressed and upset when I got home only to be locked out of my apartment. I wanted to sit on my stoop, smoke a pack of Marb's and listen to sad music. I sent CH a text saying, "I had a really bad day. I need a hug. Come over after class?". Never responded. I'm sorry but if you're my friend and I tell you I'm stressed and upset, you respond with a simple text or a call. You can even Slydial me. The next day I inquired and he stated, "no big deal, just went out after class." So, no. If you can't come to rescue when I'm upset. I can't be your friend.

Even on TV - Carrie & Mr. Big; Ross & Rachel... they can't even remain friends. One always feels something for the other, and even though they have other relationships and marriages, they end up together. Is society drilling into our heads that once it's over, it's never really over?

 

I guess the bottom line is, if there's a history there, or still something going on, you can't be friends. This is just my opinion. If a relationship ends rough or not 'mutually' I almost don't see a point. I think it's individual discretion.

Until next time in single girl world,

LMZ.

Well the truth, well it hurts to say
I'm gonna pack up my bags and I'm gonna go away
I'm gonna split, I can't stand it

I'm gonna give it up and quit and aint never coming back
-jerrod niemann, lover lover

Resisting Temptation

I decided I'm sick of being fat. {Okay I know I'm not "fat" but I'm just not happy with myself.}

I want to be in better shape.

I want to quit smoking. (haven't had one since Sunday)

I want to run (another) 5k, a half marathon, and maybe someday a whole dang marathon!

I was sick of thinking, making excuses and saying, well starting tomorrow I'll work out, starting tomorrow I'll quit smoking. I wasn't going to blog about it because then if I fail or just don't do it, then I've set myself up for success, only to fail.

let's just say: it's thursday. So far = so good! I've been keeping a daily food log and counting my calorie intake.

[The only 'naughty' thing I did was have a chocolate bar (half of a mini one) the other day. But a girl needs chocolate!]

I went for a nice long roller blade session on Tuesday night. It's been *so* hot out that I can barely muster up the energy to put clothes on and go to work let alone work out, outside nonetheless.

For my birthday: buying a gym membership in the area (options include: Anytime Fitness, YWCA St. Paul, Statera Fitness or LA Fitness) & yoga package at Corepower Yoga.

The purpose of this afternoon's blog is to share that I have resisted tempation in two ways today.

1. Better than sex cake in the cafeteria...

I could devour this in a second. Staring at it makes my mouth water. But not water enough to not eat ANYTHING ELSE the rest of the day. Or week for that matter.

2. $2 ANY SIZE cold drink at Caribou

Got back to my desk after saying "NO" to the cake and had a coupon for any size cooler for $2. We all know I love the 'bou. And I love their coolers.

So here I am. At my desk. Drinking my 1 guilty pleasure (diet coke) and chewing bubblemint gum. Oh I do have to share I had a chocolate chip/cherry muffin for breakfast. With my banana and oatmeal.

*disclaimer, going out of town this weekend to see Mr. Mayer (aka myfuturehusband/dreamboat/ILOVETHISMAN) IN Illinois. I will not be counting for Saturday/Sunday. I think that's OK.

go me :)

lmz

I'm a city girl, and if you don't like it, get bent.

Alright that's kind of harsh but while suggesting dates to CH and throwing out going to Como Zoo and having a picnic, this is the response I get:

I'm fine hanging out in the city, I just mean that you're a city person. It is just clear. I don't know how to put it. You know how you can tell that some people just belong in one area? Like how you can take the boy out of the country but you can't take the country out of the boy? Well, you're just a city person.

Don't you just love how he says those things?

Well you know what, I am a city person. And I love the city. I think really I am a Saint Paul person. Saint Paul is beautiful, lakes, rivers... old buildings, beautiful parks, trails, paths, restaurants and bars. It's beautiful. There are so many different neighborhoods and each neighborhood has it's own feel and community. For example, I live in the Grand Avenue area which is full of young adults and young couples. After I get married I'd either stay in my area or head over the Cathedral Hill until I buy my house in Highland Park or Mac/Groveland, where I'd raise my children with my city-loving husband.

This is not say I don't enjoy going away to the cabin. I'd say I'm just not a 'suburb' girl. I don't want to live in a cookie cutter neighborhood exactly 15 miles outside of downtown.

I <3 you, Saint Paul.

LOVE

Just wanted to share a picture of this super cute new bag I bought over my lunch break....

And yes it is okay to be totes jeal!

what a doll

Last night I got to see my sweet little friend Molly! We went Bonfire & Cafe Latte. She's so sweet and I love her! I'll miss her when she goes to San Fran for, like, ever (okay like 18 days). Molly is so sweet and I'm so excited she's moved back to the TC (even though she's in MPLS). We're going to have a blast!

lmz

ps: notice how I'm not on my "good side"?

storyofmylife

Honestly, being single is great. [Being in a relationship has it perks as well] As of late I've really enjoyed my "me" time. Of course, someday, Mr. Perfect will come along and sweep me off my pretty & pedicured, peep-toe pump wearing feet.

Until then, I enjoy my time with myself. I love coming home to a big empty [except jack of course] apartment, taking off all my clothes and walk around in my underwear while I read my mail and think of what to have for dinner. Then I usually put on my work out clothes and head down to Anytime or go for a walk or jog. I don't have to worry about arranging my schedule for someone else, other than my best friends.

Of course we're aware my <3 for John Mayer. His newest CD, Battle Studies, is all about heartbreak and breakups. So perfect. In fact there's a song called "perfectly lonely" and that, my friends, is my theme song. I'll share with you...

Had a little love, but I spread it thin

Falling in her arms and out again

Made a bad name for my game 'round town

Tore out my heart, shut it down

Nothing to do, nowhere to be

A simple little kind of free

Nothing to do, no one but me

And that's all I need

I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely, yeah

'Cause I don't belong to anyone, nobody belongs to me

I see my friends around from time to time

When their ladies let 'em slip away

And when they ask me how I'm doin' with mine

This is always what I say

Nothing to do, nowhere to be

A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do, no one to be

Is it really hard to see why

I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely, yeah

'Cause I don't belong to anyone, nobody belongs to me

And this is not to say there never comes a day

I'll take my chances and start again

And when I look behind on all my younger times

I'll have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong

I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely, yeah

'Cause I don't belong to anyone, and nobody belongs to me

Oh Mr. Mayer. You make my heart happy.