follow-up: after thoughts of dead fish guy & real date #1 with lunch guy from saturday is tonight.

Dead fish guy inspired this post. I liked his profile when I read it, minus the obscene amount of photos of him with dead fish. But, I overlooked that. We met up at an Irish bar just on the edge of downtown Saint Paul.

Let me step back and give a little background of DFG. He is from a town about 30 miles outside of the city. He works in construction. He's a total "guy's guy", from what I could tell. Definitely could fall under the "hick" category.

Now, I am more of the city-girl type, and I have no shame in this. BUT I really liked his profile and I sent HIM a message. After exchanging a few emails we decided to get together. I was going to squeeze him in last weekend, but I didn't. So, fast forward and we grabbed dinner on Tuesday night. This turned into drinks after dinner at a neighboring bar. It was a blast, we had a great time, and great conversation and we really connected. He drove me home and dropped me off. There was no awkward kissing moment, thankfully. Surpringsly, I would say this was the best of the 3 I've been on in the past 5 days!

But now it's 5pm the next day I haven't heard from him. So now I am kind of overthinking it - was I too sassy? I was pretty dressy for a Tuesday in a dress, tights and heels but I came right from work! He, on the other hand, was wearing carpenter jeans & work boots.

I asked my good friend Ben and he said that contacting someone after a date in under 24 hours seems desperate and over 48 hours, he is not interested. SO, the two day rule? I think it's dumb, but whatevs.

Tonight I am going to the Science Museum of MN for their first Social Science event. It's a 21+ event featuring alcoholic beverages and appetizers along with things like human pictionary and photo booth. Fun?

I'm nervous, he is a very nice and sweet guy and we had good conversation. He also likes good beer (i.e. not Bud Light) but kind is of awkward. On a side note, I think he has a tick. He kind of scratches his head whenever he gets nervous. And I think he might be a virgin. We had a very awkward hug after lunch. The good news is that he is definitely over 6' so I can wear heels tonight with my jeans. I've let my Twitter friends know to pretend I don't exist as the *last* thing I need is for him to find my Twitter account... and this blog.


Until next time.



Leah

The one with the dating posts.

I've decided to compile a blog post with all of my past blogs that are about dating experiences, good or bad. Some are emo, some are silly. Some are personal, others aren't as personal.  

friendly PSA for guys that are online dating, March 2011 - Since I've decided to re-embark (is that a word?) in online dating, I've notice so many things wrong with guys' profiles... Yikes.

options for single girls these days, october 2010 - I briefly talk about some experiences I've had that prove to me that the more you date, the more open-minded you have to be.

secret single behavior, september 2010 - This is one of my favorite posts. We all have SSB's, I highlight my personal favorites of my own.

my stupid mouth, september 2010 - I think with dating, you ALWAYS learn something about yourself. I learned, and continue to learn, that my mouth usually gets me in trouble.

the open letter to Corey, september 2010 - Corey is one that *still* tugs at my heart strings... (he's officially out of my life)... but I opened my heart and wrote a letter I know he'd never read or see. PS: why would I even want to be with someone that does these things?

learning through others, september 2010 - One of my good friends was actively dating and I got to hear a lot about her experiences. I highlight a specific situation.

apparently I'm not long term relationship material, september 2010 - haha, I have to laugh at myself. I was bummed out that all of these dates continued to just end after that, a couple dates. I like the photos I found.

don't let me go, august 2010 - Ouch. Other CH post. What a mess. (Kind of emo post)

once a cheater, always a cheater? august 2010 - Should you be honest about your past? Do you want a potential significant other to tell you the truth, even if it's brutal?

"since you're over me now, can we be friends?" august 2010 - Can you be friends with an ex? (note, emo mentions of CH again. Ugh!)

note to self, july 2010 - Ah yes. He's just NOT that into you.

das boot, june 2010 - the one where I explain the "cycle of Corey". *sigh* See - I understood it. I just didn't ACT on it.

the trouble with dating... june 2010 - I have no patience and I hate waiting for things. This is why I have trouble dating. (author's note, I have changed this habit immensely. I have pushed dating to the back burner, therefore I don't sit and wonder what is going on. I figure if someone actually wants to go out, they'll do it. Progress, Leah!)

success! june 2010 - recap of a date. (note: although nothing romantically happened with this guy, we are still friends and grab drinks now and then. Nice guy, that R2P.)

Enjoy!

L

3 dates in one weekend?

Confession: I enjoy dating.

I'm always up for being set up. I have a profile on a couple different online sites. I live my life just like normal but if someone offers to set me up with someone, I'm all in. If anything, I either get a great story out of it or a new friend. It is always fun. I'm very social and I love meeting new people.

That said, as of late I've kicked up my online dating. I've had a few trusted friends read my profile and offer advice. I updated photos, edited my profile and took some initiative to send some messages.

I've got three (3) prospects at the moment and hope to get an initial meeting set up soon.

I don't get nervous until about 30 minutes before we meet. It's at the moment I'm getting ready to leave my apartment that I question what in the HELL I am doing. Going to meet a stranger with hopes they LIKE me, or something? That's when I call or text my best friend and she gives me a confidence boost and pushes me to go.

So, the prospects.

I've exchanged quite a few emails with "the fish guy" (inspiration for the last post). Even with his half-assed grammar and photos with 40 dead fish, I'm still going to meet him. Why? I have nothing to lose. He seems genuine and hard working, he's tall and cute. I have to call him tonight to set something up for Saturday. I'm thinking mid-day coffee. Although, something about the dead fish doesn't scream "coffee guy" to me. Maybe we'll go to Applebee's.

We've got an actor/comedian turned corporate guy. That sounds fun. I'm curious about how someone majors in theater in college then works in the corporate world. He has challenged me  to a hair competition. He said in a message that it seems like I have nice hair (LOL) and he's always been told HE has great hair. It's not long or anything, just normal, short McDreamy-ish hair. I have to say, I do have great hair. Only because of my salon and the amazing products I use. I'm positive I'll win. But I digress.

Finally, we've got the suburban living, Minnesota Twins-loving IT guy. I've only exchanged 2 emails with him but he seems like he has it together. He's got a big boy job and a house, and is right in my ideal age range at 25. I was drawn to his profile because of the MN Twins hat he was wearing. I clearly said that in the message (because I'm taking initiative). *Update: we've exchanged a few more emails I'm not impressed with the grammar... ex: "I haven't been to a Wild game yet neither". Also he gave me his cell number and said to text him. I also won't do this because that sets things up to be weird, and it is a whole other post... "why you shouldn't text someone before you meet them".

I've decided to try to squeeze all three in this weekend because, well, why not. I have nothing to lose.

I've got a busy weekend ahead, because in addition to this, I'm going with a couple friends to the Minnesota Beard Off at the Turf Club in St. Paul.

Until next time!

L

i'm sorry for you, just so you know.

Things with C ended... because as I may or may not have shared, well.. I won't blast it out here but it's over. the truth is... there was nothing to end.

he didn't answer my calls
I went to his house once from a dating period of April through November
he only emailed me from his work email

I should have seen the signs.
I should have quit before I knew I'd be broken.

the bottom line is, I don't know the truth. I don't know the back story. But apparently some girl is "in love" with him.
he led me on.
he lied to me.
he told me beautiful words and tricked me into believing fallacies.

I've been through my fair share of break-ups, really, I have. But for some reason, this one still stings.

I'm hurt. Someone told me they cared for me. Someone told me I was beautiful, amazing, a wonderful woman. I feel betrayed. Lied to. Tricked. Used.

This "ended" almost a month ago. I'm still bitter. I'm sick to my stomach. It brings me to tears. I'm angry. I quite literally want to smack him, kick him and cry in his face.

But I won't. I'm strong. I'm better than that. And I am fine, generally. It is just these randoms pangs of anger and bitterness that take me over.

Because I confronted him. And told him. And asked for an apology. Just a simple, "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, Leah. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I led you on. I made a mistake."

I got nothing. nothing. 8 months of "dating"... and nothing?

I suppose I should take that silence and interpret it as him walking away.

Just needed to vent.

oh, and. this sara b song = <3....

say you're sorry

I want the one word that you refuse to say to me
You're so good at giving me responsibility
I wash my hands clean and let you watch me as I go
I'm sorry for you, just so you know


lmz.

Uffda.

Almost 3 weeks without a post, yeesh. So much in my head and so much going on in my life I just sort of forgot. I said what needed to be said to that jerk face and I'm over it. My heart is protected & I refuse to let someone in just to hurt me again.

Enough of that.


I've been a beast about the gym and I'm proud. I'm in a new relationship with myself. I've been *enjoying* the treadmill and walking and running. I love getting ready and going and feeling great after a work out. I don't want to see this, like I do now...

So, that is good. I guess that's really all.. I should probably work. It's pretty busy & I have a ton to do. Mer.

lmz.



new, new, new, new, new.

Hi!

I have a new little set up here. I added an information page and a blogroll of my favorite blogs. I fiddled with the layout a bit. I'm excited to hopefully vamp up my personal blog and separate it from my school blog. I want to sort of figure out a direction for this blog. So, stay tuned.

As for what's new in my life...?

Brother is still crashing on the couch. Meh. It's not ideal but I love the kid, so what are ya gonna do? My friend Jacq moved into the building next door. Now I have 3 BFF's on my corner! So fun, and helps me keep sanity, for sure.

School is busy.

I was fully convinced that I was going to drop math class because I. Hate. Math. But, alas, my girlfriends in class told me to suck it up. My other class is great - promotional communications. I love it!

Dating is... non-existent.

Given the fact whenever I'm in public with my brother I'm convinced others think we're together (as evidenced by 2 neighbors asking or mentioning "your girlfriend"). Lately it's be the two-date curse. For a while it was just the one-date curse. After one date it was obvious by either party that it wasn't going to work. The last two prospects, Matt & Mr. Mechanic, have been two-daters.

Recap on Matt & Mr. Mechanic...

Matt was really cool and we had a ton of fun. Met for coffee, which turned into rollerskating at disco night and a movie and beer at his friends house. 2nd date entailed dinner at a cool local pub, walk by the river and drinks at another cool bar. I hadn't overthought things as I normally do and was not concerned about when I'd see him, what we'd do, where it was going to go, etc. I was quite proud of myself! Anyway, I ended up getting an email from him saying I was really great but he just wanted to continue with a friendship (I hadn't even questioned anything...?). He stated he thought it'd be difficult to date given the fact I didn't have a car and we lived 30 miles away (bogus). He then stated he wanted me to be his "city guide" and show him all the cool places I talked about in the city (no). As of now - this was about a month ago - I haven't heard from him. So much for wanting to be friends. Why do guys say that, anyway? That's a whole other post.

mr. mechanic, hard at work.

Mr. Mechanic is still fresh in my mind and was a set-up by my mother. My mother had been insistent to this man (hard to call him a man, he's 21!) that I was "so beautiful, smart, photogenic and great" and she'd "really like him as a son-in-law" (that's awkward). Anyway, we did the facebook exchange, he checked out OK and I was intrigued. We spend a good chunk of the day texting on Wednesday before our date. True to Leah form (instant gratification, no patience) we met up that night for a beer. We actually had really great conversation and touched subjects I've vowed never to get into on an inital meeting [politics, religion and family]. He texted afterward saying, "your a really cool person to talk to''. A) YOU'RE. not your. B) what does that mean? I decided not to analyze it and took it as a compliment. Said thanks and we'd talk soon.

He texted the next couple of days (multiple times) and called me on Friday night. We set up plans for Saturday. Another good time on Saturday night. Again, we got into some great deep conversation. We are definitely different and it was interesting to hear is view on some things. And since Saturday we've exchanged a couple texts but, nothing earth shattering, no plans for getting together again. Not a big deal to me, his loss, really (seeing as how I am so great).

So, since I've gotten over the one-daters, the two-daters... what's next?

whomp whomp, sad face.

The three daters? Well, my friends, that requires me to date. I don't quite have the time. Between work, school, trying to work out, brother(s) and trying to finish season 1 of Desperate Housewives and Mad Men, I don't have a lot of time for dating.

Oh, and another thing, as far as dating, I'm really learning a lot about my self. Mechanic man and I had COMPLETE opposite political views. Made our convos great but... in the end? Doubtful it would work.

And as my best friend Ella says, "at the end of the day, we don't love these hoes, but we always have each other" and "my relationship with you is the most satisfying and longest one I've ever been in."

LMZ

someday..

Mama there's no way you'll ever lose me
Giving me away is not goodbye
As you watch me walk down to my future
I hope tears of joy are in your eyes


'Cause he is good, so good
And he treats your little girl like a real man should
He is good, so good

He makes promises he keeps
No he's never gonna leave

So don't you worry about me

Don't you worry about me