Why I Won't Hook Up With You

So if you want me, I don't come cheap.

Keep my hand in your hand

& your heart on your sleeve.

::k.clarkson

It has taken me a while to get to a place where I am today. Where I can confidently say, no, I won't hook up with you. Because, to be honest, in the past I haven't been strong enough. I equated sex with love. I thought if I gave it up, I'd get a relationship. It took tears, heartbreak and years to find out otherwise. So I have this to say.


Dear every man that has tried to hook up with me:

I won't do it.
I won't hook up with you.
I'm better than that.
I don't WANT that.
I don't want to feel used and abused.
I want to be loved.
Not taken advantage of.
I don't know where you get off thinking that I don't want anything more than a hot night of sex.
Am I not worthy?
I hope that the man who I end up in a relationship with will respect me for the simple reason that I do not hook up.

This weekend...

My friend from work, Laura, and I are taking a road trip to Tinley Park, Illinois! We're so excited. Why TP, you ask?

This guy:

I am super into his new sleeve tat....

But a little less impressed with his belly...

Then again, he does have better things to do than GTL (gym, tan, laundry - obvi)

And... if he happens to propsose to me. I will say yes!

I'm a city girl, and if you don't like it, get bent.

Alright that's kind of harsh but while suggesting dates to CH and throwing out going to Como Zoo and having a picnic, this is the response I get:

I'm fine hanging out in the city, I just mean that you're a city person. It is just clear. I don't know how to put it. You know how you can tell that some people just belong in one area? Like how you can take the boy out of the country but you can't take the country out of the boy? Well, you're just a city person.

Don't you just love how he says those things?

Well you know what, I am a city person. And I love the city. I think really I am a Saint Paul person. Saint Paul is beautiful, lakes, rivers... old buildings, beautiful parks, trails, paths, restaurants and bars. It's beautiful. There are so many different neighborhoods and each neighborhood has it's own feel and community. For example, I live in the Grand Avenue area which is full of young adults and young couples. After I get married I'd either stay in my area or head over the Cathedral Hill until I buy my house in Highland Park or Mac/Groveland, where I'd raise my children with my city-loving husband.

This is not say I don't enjoy going away to the cabin. I'd say I'm just not a 'suburb' girl. I don't want to live in a cookie cutter neighborhood exactly 15 miles outside of downtown.

I <3 you, Saint Paul.

a girl can always relate to Britney lyrics.

Confidence is a must

Cockiness is a plus

Edginess is a rush

Edges, I like 'em rough

A man with a Midas touch

Intoxicate me, I'm a lush

Stop you're making me blush

People are looking at us

*britney spears, radar

love like crazy*

Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I Love You

Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common since

Never let your prayin' knees get lazy

And love like crazy

Always treat your woman like a lady

Never get to old to call her baby

Never let your prayin knees get lazy

And love like crazy

there's something about country music that i love. it's simple, and it speaks the truth. this song is one of my favorites by Lee Brice, called Love Like Crazy [check it out here]. i believe that everything in life should be done to it's fullest. go big or go home! this is probably why i fall so hard and have such a hard time picking myself up again. but i always learn my lesson and i do pick myself up and get going again.

~leah

10 biggest turn-offs for women...

According to The Campus Socialite, these are the 10 biggest turn-offs for women. I'd have to say, *in general* I agree and I know that my future husband will be a great mix of... uh.. not?.. these things? Yes.  

1. Guys who are too serious  
2. Guys who are too into themselves  
3. Cheapness 
4. Insecurity  
5. Bad Grammar/Spelling  
6. Back Hair  
7. Clingy Guys  
8. Bad Breath  
9. Cigarette Smoking  
10. Bad Kissers

I would say, based on the above list, my BIGGEST is #5, bad grammar. I'm no grammer queen BUT let's figure out you're/your, there/their/they're... And also cheapness. If I am on a date with you I don't want to would rather not hear about how paying $4 for a cup of coffee is ridiculous.

just another day in the dating world... =)

 

 

 

The sun will come out... tomorrow....

Look out your window, my sunshine's all around. All you have to do is just surrender.

Open up your eyes, don't you know you're just wasting time?

If that's the way you want it, well there you go.

-A.Simps.

I guess I'll just never understand, how if you want something, you *won't* go after it. I've always been the kind of girl to fight for something I want, whether it was an extra hour out when I was living at home as a teenager or more work to do at work. I'm always the kind of person to try hard for things I want and for the people I love. I guess I can understand that there are people who may like someone and think they're "wonderful & beautiful" but think that pursuing them any more than they are will just be come "too intense" or will "limit them from other people". With all that said, I know what who I am talking about, I hope that he finds happiness in his life, and I hope that one day he is able to open up to others about his feelings. I hope that he can be honest with himself and others. I hope that he doesn't have regrets for not going after what he wanted. Or maybe, he didn't want it at all and was too afraid of hurting me to say it? Well.. actions do speak louder than words. Always.
::L

beautiful mess.

You've got the best of both worlds

You're the kind of girl who can take down a man

And lift him back up again

You are strong but you're needy,

Humble but you're greedy

And based on your body language,

And shoddy cursive I've been reading

Your style is quite selective,

though your mind is rather reckless

Well I guess it just suggests

that this is just what happiness is


Hey, what a beautiful mess this is

It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write

Kind of turn themselves into knives

And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction

But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear

'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice

Your comebacks they're quick

And probably have to do with your insecurities

There's no shame in being crazy

Depending on how you take these

Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say

Kind of turn themselves into blades

And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard

But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt

Cause here, here we are, Here we are

What a beautiful mess, this is

It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"

Through, timeless words and priceless pictures We'll fly like birds not of this earth




And tides they turn and hearts disfigure

But that's no concern when we're wounded together

And we, tore our dresses and stained our shirts

But it's nice today.

Oh the wait was so worth it.

*j.mraz

storyofmylife

Honestly, being single is great. [Being in a relationship has it perks as well] As of late I've really enjoyed my "me" time. Of course, someday, Mr. Perfect will come along and sweep me off my pretty & pedicured, peep-toe pump wearing feet.

Until then, I enjoy my time with myself. I love coming home to a big empty [except jack of course] apartment, taking off all my clothes and walk around in my underwear while I read my mail and think of what to have for dinner. Then I usually put on my work out clothes and head down to Anytime or go for a walk or jog. I don't have to worry about arranging my schedule for someone else, other than my best friends.

Of course we're aware my <3 for John Mayer. His newest CD, Battle Studies, is all about heartbreak and breakups. So perfect. In fact there's a song called "perfectly lonely" and that, my friends, is my theme song. I'll share with you...

Had a little love, but I spread it thin

Falling in her arms and out again

Made a bad name for my game 'round town

Tore out my heart, shut it down

Nothing to do, nowhere to be

A simple little kind of free

Nothing to do, no one but me

And that's all I need

I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely, yeah

'Cause I don't belong to anyone, nobody belongs to me

I see my friends around from time to time

When their ladies let 'em slip away

And when they ask me how I'm doin' with mine

This is always what I say

Nothing to do, nowhere to be

A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do, no one to be

Is it really hard to see why

I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely, yeah

'Cause I don't belong to anyone, nobody belongs to me

And this is not to say there never comes a day

I'll take my chances and start again

And when I look behind on all my younger times

I'll have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong

I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely

I'm perfectly lonely, yeah

'Cause I don't belong to anyone, and nobody belongs to me

Oh Mr. Mayer. You make my heart happy.