love

1. taylor swift
2. caribou coffee
3. winter/the north face/ice skating
4. ipod
5. jack (meow)

Searching all my days just to find you

I'm not sure who I'm looking forI'll know it

When I see you

Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom

Staying up all night just to write

A love song for no one

~john mayer

you and i both.

...And it's okay if you have to go away

Oh just remember the telephone works both ways

And if I never ever hear them ring

If nothing else I'll think the bells inside

Have finally found you someone else and that's okay

Cause I'll remember everything you sang

Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see me now
well I'm almost finally out of.
I'm finally out of...
well I'm almost finally, finally, out of words.
-j.mraz

just haven't met you yet...

I might have to wait

I’ll never give up

I guess it's half timin'

and the other half's luck

Wherever you are

Whenever it's right

You'll come outta nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazin'

And baby your love is gonna change me

And now I can see every possibility

Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out

You'll make me work so we can work to work it out

And promise you kid

I'll give so much more than I get

I just haven't met you yet.

the more:

• bad dates I have
• I see my friends in relationships they shouldn't be in
• I get to know myself
• I get to know what I want
• I get hit on by creepers
• I appreciate myself

.... the more I know that someday, there will be someone just *perfect* for me. I think it'll be a perfect compliment. I think I'll be inspired. I think it'll be love.at.first.sight.

&& until then. I'm happy. :o) Life is goood.

~l <3

meet me in chicago <3

Meet me in Chicago

Down by the water line

Step across the gold coast

To my heart and to your wine

<3 Pandora

You paint a picture on the wall

Cause you've got a lot to tell me

But you don't think you could say it better oh baby

You're bringing up times I can't recall

And I'm sure they made your point

But I just can't seem to remember yeah

And I know you've got the feeling

And I can't say I'm agreeing

With your topic of conversation S

o just listen to the reasons

And the hints I've been giving

To the thoughts of my imagination

So come on let me see

I say baby you are amazing

I want to let you see

That you are everything and more to me

I will let you be I will I will

Cause I saw you walking down the hall

And I had a lot to tell you

But I didn't think you could say it better oh baby

You're good at makin me feel so small

And I know you made your point

But I just don't want to remember yeah

And I know you've got the feelin

And I cant say I'm agreein with your topic of conversation

So just listen to the reasons

And the hints that I've been giving

To the thoughts of my imagination

Cause I'm dancing around

In your world of play

I'm takin my time to make sure you stay

I would give my life to make it okay

So come on let me see...

~josh kelley

girlfriends: if you are not using Pandora, you need to! It's so great. I am on John Mayer radio right now. That song (Amazing) just came on. Makes me want to dance. :)

I was totally going to do a fancy cute thing like Meggers and Carrie BUT I'm so sleepy.

So it's so crazy busy at work that they're giving us laptops to work at home. On top of working from 8am-6pm M-F.

So much for taking an extra class next term. Mer. It's ok. It'll be ok. I actually do like working and am glad I can justify sitting on the couch by having my laptop on my lap. Working. Getting paid!

loves.

Saint Paul

Just when I had you off my head

Your voice comes thrashing wildly through my quiet bed

You say you wanna try again

But I've tried everything but giving in

Why you wanna break my heart again

Why am I gonna let you try

I love you more than songs can say

But I can't keep running after yesterday

So why you wanna break my heart again

Why am I gonna let you try

-john mayer.all we ever do is say goodbye

battle studies

2009

meow

I love my cat, Jack :]

broken <3

David came over last night for our weekly dinner date. He shared with me that he met someone on Saturday night. And he wanted to see where it was going to go. But that he loved me and cared for me and only wanted the best for me. He wants to be in my life blah blah blah...

and it hurts. soo bad. Here I was.. ready.. ready to make it work, to make US work and BAM. Like a ton of bricks. Right to the heart. Hmph. =(

decisions...

SO I had a meeting with my advisor last night! I'll be done with school in December of 2012.... It seems like a lonngggg time away but I know it's not, and I know it'll fly! I am excited because I'm minoring in sales! I have some credits for electives but decided to pick up a minor. So my major will be Marketing and Management, and my minor is Sales.

My pickle is this:

MBA or MAOL?

MBA is a Master's of Business Administration & MAOL is an 'alternative' to the MBA; it is a Master's of Organziational Leadership.....

Hmmm...

Well, four years ago I was set on being a social work major.
& now I'm totally NOT that...

so... only time will tell :)

~L

thankful.

this is me procrastinating studying....

Thanksgiving is coming up and this year, I have *so* much to be thankful for.

On September 22nd, 2009 my 14 year old brother was hit by a truck while riding his bike. He was airlifted to North Memorial Hospital. Seeing him laying the E.R. was the most devistating image in my mind. We knew he'd make it, but would he know who we were? When you're hit by a truck going 30 mph and you're not wearing a helmet, it's a scary thing and it's a possibility you will have severe brain damage. The first few days were the worst. After Logan got out of surgery, before they took out his breathing tubes, he ripped them out himself. He was crying, but couldn't cry... he had tears coming out his eyes.

To this day, I have nightmares about losing my brother. He had an angel with him, that is for sure. We are lucky that we are 7 weeks out and he's out of a cast for his broken leg and into a wheelchair. He is back in school and overall, doing well. He has a little bit of trauma stress, too... especially if anyone talks about it. He doesn't remember anything about it.

My senior year of high school (2005), my brother Justin moved away. He went to live in a boys type home in Milaca, MN. I didn't see him until September of 2005. It was 9 months. I was hysterical. Everytime after that, it got better. But, it's been a long road for him. It's been 4+ years and probably 5 or 6 different treatment facilities but if all is well, he'll be discharged, for good, on Friday...

This Thanksgiving is the first since 2004 that I'll be with my mom and brothers. My brothers are my rocks. I would do anything and give anything for either of them. I love them both with all my heart. I don't know what I would do if I lost either of them. Thankfully, I do not have to think about that. I have two healthy and vibrant brothers to share my life with.

But you're

Untouchable

Burning brighter than the sun

And now that you're close

I feel like coming undone

In the middle of the night

When I'm in this dream

It's like a million little stars

Spelling out your name

You gotta, come on, come on

Say that we'll be together

...litte taste of heaven..

untouchable--[t.swift]

amazing.

By far the best product.. ever. This smells soooo good. I won the conditioner at work and am now wanting to purchase *everything*.

Oh.

My.

Goodness.

maybe our mistakes are what make our fate ~carrie bradshaw

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. -- Author Unknown

"What happens when he's your prince charming, but you're not his cinderella?"

love.never.fails.

for God is greater than our hearts
and knows everything.
Beloved, if (our) hearts do not condemn us,
we have confidence in God
and receive from him whatever we ask

i have faith.

i have faith that if i take a step back & stop analyzing, that everything will work out.

i know that i am happy as i am.

i know that the *one* i want, the *one* i love, loves me too.

he makes me want to be a better person.

he makes me smile.

he makes me laugh.

i know that what's meant to be

will find it's way

i trust.

trust.

i trust. & hope. & pray. & love.

i am ready now.

come get me.

i'm ready.

st. paul.

I love St. Paul. I can not rave enough about the 651. I had *the best* St. Paul day on Saturday the 24th. I walked from my apartment, to Grand Ave. Spent the entire day on Grand. Met Kelly for lunch. Shopped. Went to Cossetta's with Ella. Went out at night with Kelly and Dana. Had a great, great night. I love St. Paul. & Securian. =]

snazzy.

Well it's been over a month - almost 2 months - since I've posted. I drew a litte inspiration off Meggie's blog. She's such a good writer. So, some news:

On the break up front, I'm over that whole thing! I truly believe that *everything happens for a reason* & that at that point I could not see it and was devastated, but now, I am happy. I am fine. I am excited for this new thing, singlehood, which will prepare me for MNBF, as I like to call him... [my next boyfriend]. I think it's clever. Anyway, I have been told that I need to not have this "list" of things I will or won't have in someone I date, but I think, it's okay to not want to date a felon (more on that later) or to not date someone that wears white socks with work clothes... or to make sure the next person I date not only has standards but dreams and desires. I won't settle. & I think that is perfectly OK. But I also learned something from that relationship, as I realize, I learn from every human interaction in my life. I also learned that I'm not totally over my real, true love.. David. I miss him a lot. Especially in the Fall, as we spent the past 3 Falls together... I have changed and grown soo much since we've been apart and I *wish* we could be together.... BUT. We're not. So.... on I go.... living, and learning...

In other news: MY BFF Alyssa got engaged! I am *so* happy for her - and honored! I get to be a bridesmaid! Alyssa and I have been friends since 7th grade. That is SO long! That means I've known Meggers since she was in 5th grade. I remember her - basketball playing, cat loving, Meagan! Anyway, I am so so so SO excited, I have never been a bridesmaid before! We already picked our dresses and they are to die for. SO cute. I love them. Alyssa's ring and dress are beautiful. I am confident that the wedding will be great and her and Mike will have a wonderful, happy married life together. <3>

School is going well. Granted, I have one class.... I like the weekend college format and I love St. Kate's, a lot. Someday when I get married [to MNBF ;)] it will be at St. Kate's. Or the Cathedral. I don't know which one just yet :) I just know that whenever it happens, it'll be perfect. Maybe 2 years, maybe 10. Who knows! There is a plan for me, so we shall see.

Work is good. We have been CRAZY busy at Securian.... and I like that, but I hate feeling so behind all the time and never getting anything done... Sometimes I wish that I could just do school, and not have to work.. but then I snap out of it. I am sort of feeling that way today.... thinking life would be easier if I didn't work 40 + hours a week, if I could just have classes and study and do homework.. but then I remember that I have to have a job in order to pay my rent! And I think, well I'll just move to Grandma's! then I think... no... I like my apartment and my independence... so... I just stay content!

Mr. Jack is so naughty. Jack is my cat, btw. He's such a little twerp and always getting into something. The other night, I was moving my bed around and he decided to help... He's so bad but so stinkin' cute, I can't resist him!

Mmkay. Ella's coming down for lunch. Chicken Strips & Mashed Potatoes. A highlight in the caf at Securian (like Italian Dunkers in school).

~L

//i ain't settlin, or just getting by, i've had enough so-so for the rest of my life, tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high, cause love ain't enough this time. i ain't settling, for anything less than everything...\\

it's gonna hurt bad before it gets better...

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

It just hit me last night that I am single again... That Nick dumped ME. It's been a while since I've been the dumpee rather than the dumper. It hurts. I remember why I put up walls after David and why I didn't want to get into a relationship. Because I hate the feeling of walking around somewhere and thinking of that other person. I am ready to be single; I need to be single. But, I also need to not pretend it doesn't hurt and that I am not sad. Because I am. And it does hurt. And I am sad. I'm sad because I'll miss Nick. He was quirky and cute and funny. I'll miss having someone to spend time with. I will miss him. But... I just need to give it time and it will all be okay.

~L

It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way
keith urban.tonight i wanna cry.